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Happy Wednesday everyone! Today I’m here with a guest post from Kat over at Kat Spills The Tea, who has chosen to share with you today her top ten favourite tips to build confidence and self-esteem. Without further ado, I’ll hand over the reins – the next words you read will be from Kat!

In today’s post I’ll be sharing my top ten favourite tips to build confidence and self-esteem.


  • What does confidence and self-esteem mean
  • Why do we struggle?
  • Ten ten tips to build self confidence and self-esteem
  • Author bio


Hey everyone! I’m absolutely delighted to be writing this post for Katie’s blog today. I decided on today’s topic as I truly do believe that confidence is KEY to living a happy, and positive life.

Having been incredibly insecure and shy growing up, confidence didn’t come naturally to me. However, I’ve invested much time and effort to build confidence and self-esteem. Now I am now generally a much more confident person. But, don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I really struggle. This is why it’s vital to arm yourself with the right tactics to fight off insecurities.

So, with that in mind I’m going to share my top ten tips on ways to build confidence and self-esteem.

What is Confidence? 

Before I dive into my favourite ways to increase self-esteem, I thought I’d touch on what I think confidence / self-esteem actually means. 

Now, confidence isn’t necessarily a straight forward topic. What makes us feel confident can’t really be pinned down to one definitive thing. Personally, I think it totally depends on who you are as an individual. But to me, confidence is feeling sure of myself, and having complete faith in my qualities and abilities. 

It’s being able to walk into a room with your head held high. As well as being secure in yourself as a person – how you look, how you talk, characteristics, personality traits, goals and dreams. 

So, with all that in mind, the first step to boosting your confidence and self-esteem, is to step back and think about what being confident means to you. Ask yourself, what does true confidence look and feel like to me?


Why do we struggle with confidence? 

So, the next natural step on your journey to build confidence and self-esteem, is to ask yourself what’s stopping you? I’ll run through a few possibilities below. 

As much as social media can be amazing, this is probably one of the main sources of self-esteem issues. It’s incredibly easy to compare yourself to literally every other person in the world using social media. So, this might make you feel like you need to look a certain way, or that you’re not happy enough, or rich enough. But remember, people only post what they want you to see online. Focus on yourself and your own journey, and take what you see online at face value. 

With that being said, social media isn’t the only culprit. Many other things could be stunting your confidence and self-esteem. Here’s a few examples: 

  • Your job
  • Toxic people (could be friends, family, colleagues..) 
  • A lack of focus or passion for what you’re doing 
  • Mental health issues

As I say, this will vary from person to person. So, it’s important that you ask yourself what is negatively impacting you, find the cause of the problem at its root. 

Top Ten Tips to Build Confidence and Self-esteem

So, now we have an idea of what confidence means, and what might be stopping you from feeling your most confident, how can you build confidence and self-esteem

1. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good

I know it seems strange that my first tip about self confidence is to do with other people. But, this is so important. The people you surround yourself with really do influence the way you think about yourself. Your friends, family, spouses etc should be there to support you, encourage you, and lift you up when you’re doubting yourself. Your loved ones should make you feel loved. 

Personally I owe a lot of my new found confidence to the friends I have. The guest post on healthy body affirmations my friend and body positivity advocate Lucy wrote for my blog is a perfect example of this. 

2. Remove toxicity from your life

Similar to the above, if you do have people in your life who are toxic, or constantly put you down and make you feel bad about yourself – remove them from your life. 

Now, I know this is a lot easier said than done. Especially if it’s a family member, or someone you’ve been friends with for a long time etc. So, if you can’t physically remove them from your life, at least try to take steps to distance yourself from them. Or, create a mental distance between yourself and them so that you find it easier not to take their comments to heart

3. Unfollow social media accounts that have a negative impact on you

Like I touched on earlier in the post, social media can be amazing. It can be a space for optimism and positivity – if you follow the right accounts. Therefore you should make sure you only follow those accounts that inspire you, motivate you, and make you feel good. As such if you find that an account you’re following is causing negative feelings and reactions. Unfollow them. 

It doesn’t matter who it is, sometimes you have to be cut throat with these things if it is damaging you.


4. Try not to compare yourself to others 

Now, this is A LOT easier said than done. Which is why I said try. It is almost impossible not to compare yourself to others, especially online. 

I’m sure we’ve all felt things like… this person is better looking than me, I wish I had their body, their smile, their eyes.. I wish I was as successful as this person, had as much money as them, had a happy relationship like they do.. or maybe I should be doing what this person is doing..

I can confirm that all of these thoughts are totally counterproductive. Imagine the possibilities if we put all of the time we spend thinking these negative things about others into investing in ourselves and our own journey?

5. Pay attention to the way that you speak to yourself 

It’s only when I really started focusing on the things I was saying to myself, that I realised just how frequently I was putting myself down. 

Pay more attention to what you’re saying to yourself, and the next time you find that you’re being horrible to yourself – literally stop yourself in your tracks. There’s a difference between acknowledging where you might improve, and being down right nasty to yourself. We only get one life, don’t spend it being your own worst enemy.

6.Practice daily positive affirmations 

So, to help a little with the above point, try incorporating some positive affirmations into your daily routine. To get you started, why not give a daily positive quote book or a gratitude journal a go.

7. Remember you’re more than the way you look

Now, I know self-doubt doesn’t just come from physical insecurities. But, a lot of it does. 

If you’re feeling down about the way you look, try to remind yourself that you’re so much more than just your physical appearance. Think about everything that contributes to you as a person, aside from your appearance.


8. Write down a list of everything you’ve achieved (not matter how small) 

Alternatively, if your lack of confidence and self-esteem is to do with not feeling like you’ve achieved enough / done enough, then write a list of everything you have achieved!

On this list write down everything you’ve achieved that day, or week, or month, or year. No matter how big or small, write down every achievement and give yourself some credit for what you have done. Rather than constantly thinking about what you haven’t done.

9. Take a break

Sometimes, you might find that none of these tips are working for you. In that case, take a break from everything. Chill out, relax. Do something that takes you away from everything, and give yourself a chance to recuperate.

10. Invest in yourself 

In some cases, you might find that there is an actual fix to some of your insecurities – it could be a case of needing to invest in yourself more.


Author Bio

Kat is a Lifestyle, fitness and wellness blogger, based in Surrey, UK. Over at she blogs about a little bit of everything that falls under the “lifestyle” umbrella, revolving around one overarching theme: how to live a more positive lifestyle. 

As well as this Kat is also a full time Marketing Executive and offers Freelance Services, including reviews, proofreading, guest posts and Marketing copy. Details of which can be found here.

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  1. Kayleigh Zara

    I always find that my confidence fluctates based on the time of the year or what is wearing. These are some great tips and I’m sure they’ll help a lot of gals out! X

  2. Pingback: Mental Health and Suffering at Christmas - Life With Ktkinnes

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