Posted in Lifestyle

2017’s First Ramble

Hello once again! And welcome back to my ramblings. I will be 100% honest and say that this post was written the night before my last Christmas exam, when I was trying to think back on 2016. Now, I know I wrote up a post during Blogmas – does it count as Blogmas if it was after Christmas? Anyway, I’m getting distracted again – reflecting on all the happenings of 2016. It was fun to write up and remember all the exciting things I got up to. However, this one is more about what I felt and thought throughout the year, a more personal one if I may. In fact, it came about as I sat in my room, eating a Chinese takeaway that probably would’ve fed 2 or 3 people, binge watching Netflix, and looking at myself in the mirror. Now before you think me vain, I should probably point out that my mirror sits behind the laptop, and I was feeling much too lazy to move it so as not to see my spotty face framed by my half wavy hair. And please don’t get me started on my hair drying naturally – it always just looks weird.

 

Once again, I’m getting away from the actual point of this post, however it’s that mirror that got me thinking. I promised myself in January 2016 that I would start to accept myself. I reiterated this promise in August when I was in Glasgow for my resits. Once more, September came and with it was a promise to work on being “me” and accepting myself, as well as properly putting effort into things I enjoyed. So you would think that on December 12th 2016, I would’ve reached a place where I was happy with myself. And yet, as I looked at the empty plate and cutlery needing moved to the kitchen, and as I listened to Claire Fay portraying Elizabeth II, I wasn’t actually happy in myself. And yet I didn’t know why.

 

To be honest, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that these things brought only a few minutes of happiness, followed by a long time of regret and disappointment in myself. If I could put into words how I felt then I would, but even now I can’t quite word it right. I think the only way to describe it would be to say I felt empty. Not happy, but not sad. I wasn’t nervous about the exam – even thinking about that, I had no overwhelming feelings. And that in itself got me thinking and writing.

 

I’ve admitted to both myself and to you all that really I don’t think this was the right course for me to take in life, however I also want to try my hardest to achieve what the voices in my head are telling me I will never manage – to get through this degree and come out of it ready to move onto the next step, becoming a teacher. It’s what I’ve always wanted. And yet, even the thought of that didn’t make me feel anything. Strange isn’t it? How we can just have those moments.

 

During this time, however, I started wondering what would make me happy. What could I do to begin to feel good in my own skin? Feel I belonged, or was needed, or just generally like I deserved to be where I was. Because to be honest, a lot of the time I don’t feel I deserve it. I have an amazing group of friends, and I don’t tell them that enough. In fact, I rarely ever tell them that. Would that make me happier?

 

I began to consider physical changes. We’ve all been told over and over again that we should love ourselves for who we are. But what if the person you currently are doesn’t feel like someone who deserves your love? It’s confusing, isn’t it. I asked myself would I be happier if I lost weight. Not for appearance’s sake, I knew that much. Not for my mum or family members who ask at least once a week if I’ve lost any weight, that just made me refuse to do it at all. But from a health point of view. I know exercise plays a large part in it all, but looking at the amount of food I had just consumed filled me with a lot of regret. It got me thinking. How can I change my habits? What can I do to improve my quality of life? A more recent study has shown that on average we take 66 days to form new habits. It’s a long time, but over the next few months I intend on breaking old habits and forming new ones. I often find it difficult to start these things while at home, so I couldn’t exactly start on January 1st the way I wanted to. But I’m hoping to keep you updated as time goes on.

I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see looking back. However I can change this. Physically, I can change, and mentally I can learn to love myself. By putting this out here for you all to read, I’m hoping to encourage myself to stick at it. So it may seem boring but I want to describe it here.

 

I want to start eating properly. I am going to work my days around cooking them, because I actually really enjoy cooking. I just don’t enjoy eating what I cook. So I’m going to create a meal plan and stick to it. Stop the snacks and fizzy drinks and set a proper food budget to stick to. Enough is enough. I say this every year but I mean it this year. I’m 21, it’s about time I started looking after my health properly.

 

At the same time, I want to find an exercise regime I enjoy. Watching Zoe’s progress for the last few months has really inspired me to start exercising properly. I love keeping up with how she’s doing, and she really is an inspiration to me. I have a holiday in March, and hopefully a summer holiday somewhere at some point, and I want to be able to look at myself before we go away and say ‘Katie, it’s time you buy some new clothes in a smaller size’.

 

I want a routine. Not to simply get through each day, but to actually properly live my life. Factoring in exercise, cooking, university stuff, socialising, and hopefully a job, I want to figure it all out. It’s when I’m bored and alone in the flat that I reach these moments of questioning where my life is going.

 

 

My first thoughts daily shouldn’t be questioning whether I need to get up or whether or not I’ll wear my jeans for the 5th day in a row, rather I want to wake up feeling energised and excited to dress properly for the day ahead. Second year university saw me ban myself from wearing tracksuit bottoms to lectures, and it actually made a bit of a difference! I continued that at the start of this year, and dressing like you’re doing something that day automatically makes you feel more productive.

 

I’m going to stop washing my hair every day. I know it’s bad for it, and trust me when I say I am working on it, however I probably need at least three weeks to correct my hair’s need to be washed daily. So if my friends don’t mind, there will be a week in which I don’t wash it, and then from then I will figure out a routine.

 

But that’s enough rambling to you for now. I think I’m going to create a page on here specifically for keeping up to date with how all this is going. But for now, it’s merely a plan. Let’s see if I can stick to it, shall we?

 

A rather tired and fed up Ktkinnes xx

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Posted in Lifestyle

Update

Hiya everyone! Sorry I’ve been AWOL the last week. Can’t even say I’ve been overly busy. I just was throwing myself into writing up blogmas posts and getting the planning for them started. However, it was pointed out to me today by a certain person who wants a post dedicated to herself that I hadn’t posted anything new and so here I am.

 

I realise that writing a post because someone asks you to isn’t always a great idea. A lot of the time, motivation and inspiration are needed for writing a ‘good’ post. At the same time, the posts I write and expect to do well actually always tend to be a bit of a flop. Instead, the ones that I write randomly actually tend to be more popular – funny, isn’t it?

 

I wanted to write something that’s been on my mind quite a bit recently, something I keep thinking about and meaning to talk to people about but it always ends up being pushed down. I was visiting a friend on Wednesday night and we actually both agreed on it. Not that surprising when I eventually get round to telling you what we were discussing; the interesting part is that while we both agreed on the ideology neither of us put it into practice as much as we should.

 

The concept, my friends, is happiness. There are so many quotes and ideals on happiness. We all constantly strive for it, and once we have it we grasp on for dear life – savouring it for as long as we can. A lovely young lady I know through blogging pointed out a few days ago that life is far too short for us to worry. It’s too short for us to hold on to grudges and the likes. Instead, her life philosophy was simply that we should live each day to the max, make the most of the opportunities presented to us, and remember ourselves in times when we need to.

 

Now, when I was at my friend’s the other night, we were discussing some things that have been going on in his life over the last few months, and it was actually refreshing when he said that doing something because it makes you happy should be the main motivation for doing anything. It’s different for each of us, but everyone has at least that one thing that makes them happy. Me? I’m happy when I blog. I’m happy when I’m with people I care about. I’m happy when I’m singing along to crappy music and dancing like an idiot (only when drunk, otherwise you’ll find me awkwardly dancing in a small circle and only mouthing the words). I’ve been told I’m obsessed with Christmas multiple times, yet that doesn’t bother me because why shouldn’t I be excited for a time when I feel genuinely happy just because of dates on a calendar?

I wrote a post a while back about a ‘down’ day that I’d had. I censored it a bit because there were thoughts I had that day that I don’t even want to remind myself about, never mind let someone else know what went through my head. But I’m on the up again now and I’m doing the best I can to keep positive. Another thing I am constantly reminded of is that it’s okay to not always be okay, and I think a lot of us forget this so frequently.

 

However I wanted to write a motivating, or at least slightly positive, post for today. It’s almost the weekend. Whatever you do this weekend, do it not because you have to but because you want to, and don’t let anyone guilt trip you into or out of doing something. Take time for you. Think about you. Go on that walk, read that book, binge-watch that series you could never admit to loving for fear of being laughed at for it.

 

This week has reminded me that no matter what happens, we tend to be able to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and wait for the next shock to hit us. So many people inspire me daily to be like them. They either struggle daily, have done in the past, or are struggling now and don’t want to let people know how they’re doing. So while yo focus on your happiness this weekend, ask yourself are you truly happy or are you conforming to society’s conception of happiness.

 

Actually, I was going to finish this post there, but that last sentence got me thinking – what actually is happiness? We constantly chase it, hunt for it, some of us would even do anything to be ‘happy’ – no matter how you define it.

 

This weekend, I have Rachel over, and so I probably won’t be blogging much. While I’ve definitely been more excited to see her, it’ll be nice to have a change of company even if it’s only for a couple of days. Actually, while it’s in my head, I should hide the Christmas present I bought her… Well I think I’ve bought it for her, I might just keep it for me, but either way I should move it until she’s gone again.

 

I know we’re close to November, and I should probably start thinking about my November goals, but I just wanted to share this with you. We have 2 months left of the year, and then most of us start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, but what if instead of making goals, I think about what would make me happy? In fact, I should probably look back at the resolutions I made back in January… There may still be time to complete them. But the things that would make me happy are:

  • Travel more. Doesn’t matter where, doesn’t matter if I’m on my own or what, but I want to travel and see more. Even if it’s a weekend in Manchester or something, I just want to do different things.
  • Keep up blogging. I wasn’t in the best of moods when I sat down to write this, but blogging definitely relaxes me and allows me to get out all the thoughts and experiences I’ve had.
  • Spend more time with friends and people I care about. I go through phases of not seeing anyone, and I’ve begun to notice how this affects my mood. I’m not saying I need to see people all day every day – even I would get fed up with that – but the last few nights of catching up with friends has been great.
  • Appreciate the here and now. Yes, there’s always something exciting coming up, but there are so many little things in a day to be happy for! Today? I get to walk down a tree-lined street and look at all the autumn leaves as they fall.

 

So yes, life is short. And some of you may have experienced my sentiment that life sucks and then you die, but the reality is it doesn’t have to suck. We’ve been given this opportunity to live and walk and breathe and just exist, and so many of us waste it doing things we don’t want to do, to impress people we don’t like, to pretend to ourselves that we’re happy and that’s why we’re doing it. Not anymore. Tonight, I’m going to share my bed with my multiple teddies that I have here at uni (don’t judge me), I’m going to have a good time with my sister and her boyfriend, and I’m going to make the most of seeing her. I’ve a few more things I need to do for Monday, but I’ll worry about them later. For now, I’m going to sign off and go get through the shower. Anyone want to come to my Maths lecture with me?

 

 

Ktkinnes xx

Posted in Life

An open letter to my mum

I felt the need, especially after talking to Sarah of Writing & Rambling briefly during the #beechat today run by the brilliant Charlene McElhinney – you should really check out both of their blogs by the way, great reads. 
My mum and I have one of those relationships where we live each other but there’s so much I feel I could never say to her, and so there’s always been a distance between us. Now I know she’ll never read this but I felt it necessary to write it in the hope that getting it off my chest will make things easier between us.
Mum,

The number of memories we have, some good and others not so good will always come to mind when I’m talking about you with friends. The fights we’ve had over stupid things and the fact that even when I’m at university you still want to chat every day, both make it clear that even through our slightly disfunctional relationship we do care about each other. And that’s why I’m writing this – there are some things I need to get off my chest, starting with the elephant in the room.

Rachel wrongly told you in November that I’m bisexual. I’m sorry that she did this, to be fair to her my version of coming out to her was me sobbing outside Co-op because I couldn’t cope any longer with the fact my friends had ditched me after coming out to them as liking girls. I was 15 at the time, she was 12. Now before you ask questions, I know I “had a boyfriend” for a while but really that was just me trying to pretend to myself that I liked boys and he seemed the easiest to like. He was kind and easy to talk to, something I needed when you and dad were going through rough patches and none of my other friends seemed to understand me. I was hurt when I told you about my first real date this year and your response was “I can’t talk about this, I won’t talk about this.” I was disappointed you couldn’t even pretend to be okay with me dating a girl, the way dad could, and I think I may have let that influence the way the date went in the end. I’m not blaming that part on you, just to be clear – that part is fully me. I used to blame you for my failings but I realise now how childish that was.

I do, however, blame you for my issues with confrontation, the real reason I’m writing an open letter to you. From the first time I was fully aware of you and dad arguing, you made it your job to inform me of how terrible he was and constantly said that you were only still married to him because of me and Rachel. If it wasn’t for us, you would’ve left him years ago and you would’ve been happy. That’s not something any 10 year old needs to hear. That’s not even something a 20 year old needs to hear. You can’t blame your children for your unhappiness in life. 

I know that what he did all those years ago was wrong, and last year was even worse, but at both times you were free to walk away and Rachel and I would’ve understood when we were told the full story, when we were old enough to hear it. 

It wasn’t until recently, however, that I remembered some of your arguing in Forfar. You’d had a horrible argument over something before the two of you were meant to go out for dinner. It was a Friday night, Rachel and I had been fed and were watching You’ve Been Framed before Pamela, the babysitter, got there. Dad sent me upstairs to ask you something, but you were still so angry at him that you didn’t care what it was I had to say. You lifted me under the arms and dropped me at the top of the stairs in such a way that I fell down them and hit my head off the wall at the bottom. I didn’t know what I’d done to make you so angry with me, but I was too shocked to cry at the pain. And that’s my earliest memory of you. Did you know that? 

But all that’s in the past. I’m trying to move on from that, and try and get to know you as you are now. You still try to involve me in your arguments, you never let things go, and you stand firmly in your beliefs. But you’re my mum and I still love you, even if there’s a part of me that you can’t love. 

Tomorrow’s the anniversary of Tom’s death. You’ve no idea how much I want to be at home with you right now. I don’t want to be alone in the flat thinking about it, or about how you were the one who had to make that horrible decision to turn off the machines – I certainly don’t envy you that. When we came to pick you up from the hospital afterwards and you took the keys from me to allow me time to register everything that had happened. How we got home and I went outside to be alone while crying, and you came out and just hugged me close. I need that right now. I try to pretend I’m grown up and don’t need you but right now I do. 
I was terrified to tell you that I’d failed my exams this year and would have to resit and most likely wouldn’t get back into university. I felt like the world’s biggest disappointment to you. However, you instantly told me everything would be okay, that you’d support me no matter what happened, and that you knew I wouldn’t move home even if I failed. That last part, I could see it hurt you. But you were accepting of the fact that I’m (mostly) ready to enter this world as a responsible adult. You talked me through my options, and you made me feel like there was hope.
So the start of this letter was to talk through the things I can’t say to you out of risk that we’d fall out and not speak again. But I just wanted you to know that I’ll happily keep that locked away inside, forgiven and forgotten, as long as you stay the strong person you always have been. I love you, always have and always will.

Love, your little girl.

xx

Posted in Lifestyle

Can’t sleep won’t sleep

Once again, I find myself blogging during the early hours of the morning. Ah well, it’s not like I’ve got anything to get up for tomorrow!

I was lying here when it dawned on me that it’s been a long time since I opened up to you all about me and so I decided to share a few facts about me that you may or may not know. So buckle up and settle back, because here are a few facts about boring little me!

  1. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a teacher. Some of you may now be wondering why on earth I’m doing a Physics degree if I would rather be in teaching and the simple answer is I messed up. Unknowingly, I dropped first English language and English literature after my GCSEs (exams sat at the age of 15-16). I continued to AS levels with Chemistry, History, Maths and Physics but had to drop History after a year since I failed it due to bad teaching and a lack of interest in the topics on my part. And so I wasn’t doing an essay subject so couldn’t apply for a degree in education straight away. Not long now! 
  2. I have an annoying habit of becoming obsessed with things very quickly. Whether it’s a tv show or a book, I will fall under its spell and take forever to move on. See today’s post on Grey’s Anatomy for example.
  3. My all time favourite animal would be either a turtle or a penguin. This is why it was beyond anything I could imagine when I finally got to see the penguin parade at Edinburgh Zoo! 
  4. I played with Bratz dolls until I was 13. I used to claim it was because my sister made me, but really I just enjoyed creating a world to which I could escape the restrictions and problems of living at home with my parents. I would’ve continued for longer if Rachel hadn’t lost her temper with me eventually and told me to grow up…
  5. I miss my disfunctional  family. We mightn’t get along, and there may be a lot wrong with us in general, but I do miss them. Until I’ve been home 48 hours. Then I want to run again.
  6. My flatmates mean more to me than I let on to them. They’re my real family, the ones I choose to spend time with. We go through phases of annoying the hell out of each other but then who doesn’t? These 3 are life savers, don’t know where I’d be without them.
  7. I’m still annoyed at a friend of mine from when I was 7 for borrowing my VHS of The Emperor’s New Groove and losing it. She will never be fully forgiven. I feel bad admitting this to be honest.
  8. My favourite book is one from my childhood – Mermaid Magic by Gwyneth Rees. I know it’s a kids book but I would read this every day if I could. Mum and Dad donated it to the charity shop without me knowing a few years back. If it wasn’t for the fact it is now bringing some other child happiness, I would resent them more for it. The blurb is: Down in the watery blue depths of the ocean is Tingle Reef – home to young mermaid Rani and a whole host of fishy friends! It’s an underwater world of magic and mystery – where Rani’s adventures are about to begin… Rani has always known that she’s different from the rest of her family. Her flowing red hair and glowing amber eyes stand out from the other mermaids, who have golden hair and eyes like the sea. But Rani’s about to find out that she’s more different than she realised – she’s got magic powers!
  9. I own over 100 soft toys, not including the ones I have here in Glasgow. Plus I plan on buying at least one in Disneyland Paris next week.
  10. Finally, this blog has kept me sane, as have you. By following me and reading my posts, you have given me courage and self esteem that I never had growing up with my parents and friends. You are the reason I have the courage to speak my mind so freely now. Thank you.

Ktkinnes xx

    Posted in TV

    Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale


    For those of you who don’t know, Grey’s Antomy aired last night in the USA with the season 12 finale. Every week, I wake up and watch the new episode on my very legal and not at all dodgy website that I found a few years back. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to my laptop for the abuse I put it through weekly if not daily…

    This morning I have decided to blog about it while I watch it! So just to warn you… THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. Please leave now if you don’t want it ruined.
    The episode opens with Meredith and Alex lying on their backs on the grass, discussing Amelia’s wedding and whether there is only “one true love” for each person. Alex of course claims his was Izzie but Meredith and I strongly disagree with him. 

    Two minutes in and the feels are already very strong. Amelia is on the phone with her mum, begging her or anyone from the family to come to the wedding. Queue me looking like a baby with tears streaming down my face. How can they not go to her wedding?? Poor Maggie doesn’t know what to do…

    Bailey and her husband are still bickering because of an earlier episode. I’m getting rather tired of them. Yes, he shouldn’t have done what he did but please just drop the storyline already.

    Haha the twisted sisters (Meredith, Maggie and Amelia are now the twisted sisters to me, even though no one will ever replace Cristina) are always amusing together. Amelia has now locked herself in the bathroom while sobbing. Maggie is of course trying to be the sympathetic good cop while Meredith is telling her she has 20 minutes to pull herself together. Still not even 5 minutes in! Now Owen is here to try and talk to her (he’s the groom). Aw okay, he’s being really sweet. I forgot why I love him. Amelia’s coming out now! See, they’re perfect for each other.

    Oh wait, April is Owen’s best man? Yes, let’s have the pregnant woman as a best man when she looks good to drop.

    Aw no there’s a woman with dimensia who’s attacked her son and she’s convinced that Jackson is her husband. I’m sad.

    Okay. I have had to pause it now because I’m ready to rant about Jo and Alex. They are perfect together. Alex has now proposed to Jo 3 times and she keeps saying no but not telling him why and yet they stay together. Now Alex is done trying to persuade her to marry him, goes to their house to get his suit for the wedding, and the first thing Jo says to him is “Let’s make a baby”. No. Go away. I love you and you’re beautiful but no. Either marry Alex or leave him to mourn the loss of what is possibly his one true love, but don’t have a baby. Pressing play again. She still won’t tell him why she won’t marry him. Now he’s packing a bag. After a bit of arguing, he has now stormed out. Well done Alex.
    Okay, now onto Meredith and Riggs. They’ve obviously slept together and I’m all happy for them but I miss Derek. Although this sexual tension is fun. 
    Oh brilliant, April, the best man, has lost the rings. Brilliant. And I think she’s starting to have contractions

    Meredith and Owen are now talking about Cristina, Owen’s ex wife. And Amelia overheard them talking. It sucks. But she looks gorgeous. Derek was supposed to walk her down the aisle and now Amelia’s crying because he’s dead. Oooooh Amelia is confronting Meredith about her conversation with Owen. She’s freaking out. I want to hug her. 16 minutes into the episode and I’m already emotionally exhausted. I think Amelia’s forgotten that Meredith is her family. Meredith is telling her everything she can do to help and I’m crying again. Shonda knows how to hurt me in so many ways.

    Haha okay so now Amelia is running away and Meredith is driving the runaway car and they’ve taken Maggie with them and of course the only person to see anything was Richard Webber.

    Yay! April found the rings! And her contractions are getting worse. 

    We’re back to the dimensia woman and she’s completely forgotten she had a son. Jackson tried to tell her and now she thinks she’s pregnant! 😂

    Callie and Arizona are having more problems even though they’re no longer married and they’ve settled the baby problem and I’m angry because I want them to be together but Arizona cheated and doesn’t deserve Callie anymore.

    20 minutes in… Jo and Steph scene now with Jo complaining that she pushed Alex away. I couldn’t agree more child. Steph doesn’t have the patience to stay with Jo right now. Jo is drunk. 

    Owen is now aware that everyone’s everywhere. April is about to have her baby in Meredith’s house without her doctors… Tense! And Jackson is in surgery so doesn’t know she’s in labour.

    Amelia is now freaking out about running out on her wedding. Oh wow. This is going to be a long episode. 25 minutes.

    Back to Jo. Oh Jo just said something along the lines of “I want to marry him but I can’t. I can’t marry anyone.” Are we about to know her secret?! SHE’S ALREADY MARRIED?!? Wow. Okay I saw this coming but this just stupid.

    Baby is breach. Brilliant. April and Ben are trying to birth this baby alone. She needs a C-section. At least Ben is finally saying he won’t do it! Baby is dying and she needs surgery and this isn’t going to end well. At least he’s called Bailey! They need Bailey.

    Owen is waiting patiently for Amelia to show up again. He believes in her. I think she’ll make it. Twisted Sisters are back at the wedding but she hasn’t gone in yet. 

    Baby about to be cut out. They have called the hospital and are being talked through the c section by Arizona, Bailey, and Jackson. Jackson is freaking out because April is telling Ben to save the baby no matter what and leave her to die if necessary. This is going to be a nightmare. I’m terrified. They’re having to cut the baby out without any anesthetic. Oh good, the ambulance got there! Just to see if they’re alive. She looks like she’s alive. There’s a baby! I can’t see if it’s alive…

    Back to Jo. Jo is talking about the guy she married. He abused her. That much has come out. Now I’m crying again. She’s been through so much. No wonder she won’t marry Alex. Whoa, her real name isn’t Jo. Shit, Alex just walked in. Now he’s beating up the only one who knows Jo’s secret.

    April had a baby girl! And Riggs brought the rings to Owen. And Amelia is back and ready to get married. And Riggs has been invited to the wedding at long last! Meredith is talking about her wedding to Derek and I’m sad again. Whole roller coaster of emotions.

    Yay! Wedding! She looks beautiful. Jackson’s holding his baby and she’s crying and I’m so broody right now. And April is stable again. And finally Bailey and Ben are sorted. Definitely a good season finale. I have never been so happy at a season finale. Where’s the pain, Shonda?

    Arizona just brought Sophia to see Callie, this could be the source of the pain. Let’s see… Nope. Arizona is giving Callie Sophia so she can go to New York to follow Blake (Callie’s girlfriend) and now I’m sobbing because all the happiness! What is wrong with me?

    Oh brilliant. Maggie loves Riggs. Brilliant.

    What a way to end the season. I’m over the moon. Best one yet. Yes there were some sad moments and I have been crying but let’s take the fans back to other season finales. George died, Lexie died, Cristina left, Jackson and April ran away from April’s wedding to that ambulance guy, so much sad stuff! Thank you to anyone who has followed through to now. What did you think of the episode? Let me know in the comments below!

    Ktkinnes xx

    Posted in Lifestyle

    Paris

    With all that’s happened and is still ongoing in Paris tonight I just wanted to thank you all for being there to read my blog or at least pretending to read. There’s so much hate in the world right now and I think there are times we all need to take a step back and realise what we have. 
    Today one of my friends was in court due to a racist attack against her. It’s been a long year for her but justice was finally served. As we began celebrations, we heard about Paris and all the awful stuff happening. 
    My thoughts are with all who are suffering tonight and if any of you have any friends or family in Paris then I hope they’re alright.
    Stay strong

    Ktkinnes xxx