Posted in 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, Lifestyle

Day 15 – The Trip

Haha okay so this one is really easy to pick. What is my most memorable trip and why? Obviously Ibiza!

 

The summer between finishing school and starting university, I went to Ibiza with my parents and my sister. We stayed in an adult’s only hotel and it was the first holiday in 8 or 9 years that we didn’t have Mum’s mum with us. Rachel was the youngest guest there and so we got a lot more attention than other guests – although I think her looks might’ve had something to do with that. It was the first holiday we went on that I actually felt 100% comfortable and like I could’ve stayed longer than our two weeks.

 

As a result, we went again the next two years! However, they have seriously upped the prices due to a recent refurbishment – who pays over £2000 per person for two weeks half board? I can cruise for less than that. It upsets me that I won’t be able to go back next summer, we’ve made some real friends in the staff there, never mind some of the other guests. If you have the money, I would seriously recommend Sol Beach House Ibiza, however I won’t be back for quite some time now due to the sudden increase in price.

 

Ktkinnes xx

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Posted in 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, Lifestyle

Day 14 – My Dreams

Why are my dreams important and what are they? Well… For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt of being a mum and being a teacher. I’m currently working on getting into teaching – I’m studying physics at university in the hope of doing a PGCE or a PDGE as it’s known here in Scotland. I’m emailing schools, asking to do work shadowing for the month of June after my exams have all ended, as the more experience I have the more likely I am to be accepted for a course.

 

Being a mum may be slightly more difficult/complicated but I’ll figure it out somehow.

 

One of the longest running dreams of mine was finally reached in May this year. For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of going to Disneyland – didn’t matter to me whether it was Paris or in the USA. At the age of 20, I finally got to go and actually I’m so happy I was older when I first went. I had the energy to keep going. I watched the parades and was tall enough that it didn’t matter if the adults with their children blocked my view. I could go on all the rides I wanted to, and could sit and wait for my friends if they were on a ride I didn’t want to go on. No one could tell me not to buy too many soft toys, and when I watched the night time show, I felt the shivers down my spine. It was an incredible experience and one which will be with me for many years to come.

 

 

Ktkinnes xx

Posted in 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, Lifestyle

Day 22 – Challenges

Helloooo my lovely friends! Okay so you may be forgiven for forgetting I was participating in the 30 Days of Gratitude Blogging Challenge, especially considering I basically skipped 10 days worth of them… But have no fear! I shall post a brief one for each of these throughout the day – I’m actually going to write them the minute I finish this post.

 

So, as you can see, today’s theme is Challenges with the subtitle of What is your greatest challenge in life and how do you plan to overcome it? Haha well let’s just put out there that I picked a hard one to come back in on!

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Before I could even begin to write this post, I asked myself ‘What constitutes as a challenge?’. The Cambridge Online Dictionary defines it as “(the situation of being faced with) something that needs great mental or physical effort in order to be done successfully and therefore tests a person’s ability.”  To me, personally, a challenge is something that prevents you or makes it more difficult for you to achieve the goals you set for yourself. If this is the case, then I had a lot more to think about!

 

I had to ask myself – what do I consider a challenge in my life? Blogging daily? We all know how well that’s been going – not. Going to university and getting a degree? We’re working on that one, patience young grasshopper. My relationship with my family? Ha, don’t get me started. Wow, there were a lot I could think of! However, I realised that none of these are really a proper challenge – more things that my self-doubt hinders or affects. That’s when it hit me. My greatest challenge, at this point in my life anyway, is my self confidence.

 

 

When conversing with the lovely ladies at GRLPOWR, and all the other amazing people involved in their chat on Sunday 18th September based on Confidence, there came a question – ‘How far would you go to gain confidence? (Surgery, buy things, etc)’. While replying truthfully, I stated that I constantly spend money on makeup and clothes to try and look better and more confident. I admitted that I considered either laser skin treatment for my acne scarring or laser hair removal, and I had also looked into laser eye surgery – all in the hope of becoming ‘prettier’ according to societies rules. I heavily rely on the things I buy and how I look to try and get people to like me – as someone once said to me, all I talk about is TV and I’m incredibly boring because of it. Well since then I’ve started talking a lot more about blogging too so I guess I’m just a nightmare to be around.

 

Woah, sorry, this was meant to be a post about overcoming challenges – not focusing on what the challenge is or how I feel about it! But that last paragraph was to give you a basic insight into my mind. I hate being left out of things, even if it’s nothing important. There’s always a constant worry in the back of my mind that no one likes me and they all just put up with me because I’ve attached myself to them. I know that it’s not true (hopefully) but it’s there and it’s because of my low self confidence.

 

It’s not something I can just get over. It’s not a quality I like about myself, ha the irony of having low self confidence because of problems caused by low self confidence, but it’s one I can work on. Back in August, I wrote about my promise to myself. I’ve recently started doing things because they make me happy and I want to do them. I’m getting more involved in extracurricular things at uni because, as Nuala said earlier, there are so many opportunities while at uni that disappear the minute we leave this place!

 

Planning to overcome low self confidence isn’t really effective in my opinion, simply because it takes a lot longer to change a thought or opinion than it does to change or fix a physical problem. Yes, there are ways to physically change to increase self confidence, but why should I have to change to feel better about myself? So yes, we’re working on that.

 

By the way, I don’t know if any of you have realised but I often refer to myself as ‘we’ – please ignore this, I am a me.

 

 

Thanks for reading!

Ktkinnes xxx

Posted in Lifestyle

Rachel’s presents

Wow okay sorry this is late! As you may have noticed, I kind of stopped blogging last Friday after my birthday before trying again on Thursday. Unfortunately I’m just in a slump where even though I know what I want to write, I just can’t make myself sit down and write it. Sunday (yesterday) was my sister’s 18th birthday and so I went all out. Check out the planning post here!

As my friends have learnt, I love putting thought and effort into birthday presents and so I started with the intention of buying her 18 presents that would all be given to over the course of the day. Unfortunately this would include starting super early so instead I decided to give them all to her in one go.

In the end, I managed to buy all 18 presents and numbered them for giving them to her! So here they all are, listed and shown below. Technically it’s 19 presents but shhh…. These aren’t in the order she opened them in by the way, I forgot to make a note of what was what.

a travel toothbrush
A travel washbag and miniature bottles
A book on how to adult
A CD containing the top songs the year she was born
Travel adaptors – now she can stop stealing mine!
A passport wallet for her travels
A travel wallet for her boarding passes
Her favourite chocolates
Soap and Glory Birthday Set – her favourite stuff
An 18th birthday survival kit
The makeup brushes she’s had her eye on for months – Real Techniques
A shopper so she always has a bag handy
A small set of eyeshadows – she asked for eyeshadow but I don’t think these are what she wanted
A Smuggle your booze umbrella hipflask – perfect for that night out!
A percy pig cup with straw – she loves Percy Pig, and has recently become obsessed with only drinking through a straw
A Swarovski crystal statue of Tinkerbell – After Dumbo, Tink is Rachel’s favourite
A scrapbook for her to keep the cards and photos from her birthday weekend
A real leather hand luggage case – not what she asked for but I’d bought it before she specified what she would like…  Whoops!

The final present was that I am taking her away on a mini break to Lanzarote in March, just the two of us, to an all inclusive adults only hotel. I’m actually so excited to get away – here’s the hotel we’re going to!

 

What do you think?

 

Ktkinnes xx

Posted in 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, Lifestyle

Day 5 – My Family

And we’re at day 5 already! How was your weekend? Today’s theme is Why I’m grateful for my family.

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First off, I kind of scoffed at this question and then I realised they aren’t really as bad as I feel they are, otherwise I wouldn’t keep coming back to Lisburn to see them.

I’m grateful for my parents. Without them I would never have been born. They did the best they could to raise me the way they thought was right. They’ve always tried their best to keep me happy, safe and warm. They sacrificed their own happiness a lot of the time in order to do their best by me and my sister.

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I’m grateful for my sister, no matter how much she annoys me. She kept me company for years, played with me, helped me with anything I asked her to. Even now, she’s there for me any time I want or need her. She’s always happy to listen or talk to me.

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With all my troubles, they’re all there to give their opinions and advice – notice I used all 3 versions of there/they’re/their and they’re correct? Proud of me!

 

I love them really, even though we have a lot of problems. We’ll always be there for each other, no matter what.

 

Ktkinnes xx

Posted in 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, Lifestyle

Day 2 – The Loves of My Life

Today brings about the loves of my life, and why I want to thank them for being in my life.

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So please be prepared for a soppy post! There are so many here so I think I’m going to just list them, sorry if that’s extremely boring or if you feel it’s cheating!

  • Baron, my dog, because he’s always there for me even after I yell at him for always being under my feet
  • Jason for always being there during my ramblings and breakdowns
  • Nuala for teaching me that it’s okay to be me and to ignore anyone who tries to tell me differently
  • Mary for always making me laugh and being there when I need someone to just sit with
  • Lauren, Jade, Lauren, Lily, Emily, Em, Ashley, Em, Chanté, Melissa, Francesca, Eloise, Becca, Becca, Jodie, Meg, Toni, Ellie, Nusha, Jordanne, Cathy, Summer, Hannah, Sarah, Sonam and Ana (otherwise known as the Girl Power Girls) for all their support and chat and help.
  • Mary for always being there to give support and encouragement just when I need it the most
  • My books, for transporting me out of my world and into another
  • John, for always managing to make me smile
  • And finally, all you lovely readers for taking the time and effort to read or comment on my posts!

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Hope you have a lovely day!
Ktkinnes xxx

 

P.S. I’ve finally got round to creating a snapchat for my blog so if simply reading my ramblings isn’t enough for you, add me! I’m at lifewktkinnes

#30bbdaysofgratitude challenge
Posted in Lifestyle

Missing the Pets

Anyone who knows me, or even claims to know me, will be aware of the fact that the main reason I return to Lisburn, regardless of how much I want to escape my family, is to see the animals.

 

For my 7th birthday,  we got Baron – a golden cocker spaniel puppy. He was energetic, cheeky, and had a mind of his own. Now, aged 14 (or 98 in dog years), Baron constantly sleeps and plods around after us. In fact, he’s currently fast asleep on my feet. He’s the main reason I come home. Who wouldn’t love this little face?

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Back in January, Rachel was adopted by a stray cat. For a week, the then-christened Trevor, was allowed in and out of the house, fed, and looked after by my sister who claims to not like cats. Of course, she tried her best to find out if anyone owned this kitten. Finally, she took ‘Trevor’ to the vet and discovered that he was actually a she and that she was roughly 5 months old. Of course, Rachel insisted on keeping this kitten and Trevor became Maisie – the proud and anti social cat we’ve all grown to love. Actually, her birthday is some time this month!

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Being an animal person, I do find it difficult when in the flat in Glasgow, as our contract clearly states no pets. The highlight of my visits home isn’t the free food or the heating, it’s getting to play with these two again!

 

Ktkinnes xx

Posted in life

An open letter to my mum

I felt the need, especially after talking to Sarah of Writing & Rambling briefly during the #beechat today run by the brilliant Charlene McElhinney – you should really check out both of their blogs by the way, great reads. 
My mum and I have one of those relationships where we live each other but there’s so much I feel I could never say to her, and so there’s always been a distance between us. Now I know she’ll never read this but I felt it necessary to write it in the hope that getting it off my chest will make things easier between us.
Mum,

The number of memories we have, some good and others not so good will always come to mind when I’m talking about you with friends. The fights we’ve had over stupid things and the fact that even when I’m at university you still want to chat every day, both make it clear that even through our slightly disfunctional relationship we do care about each other. And that’s why I’m writing this – there are some things I need to get off my chest, starting with the elephant in the room.

Rachel wrongly told you in November that I’m bisexual. I’m sorry that she did this, to be fair to her my version of coming out to her was me sobbing outside Co-op because I couldn’t cope any longer with the fact my friends had ditched me after coming out to them as liking girls. I was 15 at the time, she was 12. Now before you ask questions, I know I “had a boyfriend” for a while but really that was just me trying to pretend to myself that I liked boys and he seemed the easiest to like. He was kind and easy to talk to, something I needed when you and dad were going through rough patches and none of my other friends seemed to understand me. I was hurt when I told you about my first real date this year and your response was “I can’t talk about this, I won’t talk about this.” I was disappointed you couldn’t even pretend to be okay with me dating a girl, the way dad could, and I think I may have let that influence the way the date went in the end. I’m not blaming that part on you, just to be clear – that part is fully me. I used to blame you for my failings but I realise now how childish that was.

I do, however, blame you for my issues with confrontation, the real reason I’m writing an open letter to you. From the first time I was fully aware of you and dad arguing, you made it your job to inform me of how terrible he was and constantly said that you were only still married to him because of me and Rachel. If it wasn’t for us, you would’ve left him years ago and you would’ve been happy. That’s not something any 10 year old needs to hear. That’s not even something a 20 year old needs to hear. You can’t blame your children for your unhappiness in life. 

I know that what he did all those years ago was wrong, and last year was even worse, but at both times you were free to walk away and Rachel and I would’ve understood when we were told the full story, when we were old enough to hear it. 

It wasn’t until recently, however, that I remembered some of your arguing in Forfar. You’d had a horrible argument over something before the two of you were meant to go out for dinner. It was a Friday night, Rachel and I had been fed and were watching You’ve Been Framed before Pamela, the babysitter, got there. Dad sent me upstairs to ask you something, but you were still so angry at him that you didn’t care what it was I had to say. You lifted me under the arms and dropped me at the top of the stairs in such a way that I fell down them and hit my head off the wall at the bottom. I didn’t know what I’d done to make you so angry with me, but I was too shocked to cry at the pain. And that’s my earliest memory of you. Did you know that? 

But all that’s in the past. I’m trying to move on from that, and try and get to know you as you are now. You still try to involve me in your arguments, you never let things go, and you stand firmly in your beliefs. But you’re my mum and I still love you, even if there’s a part of me that you can’t love. 

Tomorrow’s the anniversary of Tom’s death. You’ve no idea how much I want to be at home with you right now. I don’t want to be alone in the flat thinking about it, or about how you were the one who had to make that horrible decision to turn off the machines – I certainly don’t envy you that. When we came to pick you up from the hospital afterwards and you took the keys from me to allow me time to register everything that had happened. How we got home and I went outside to be alone while crying, and you came out and just hugged me close. I need that right now. I try to pretend I’m grown up and don’t need you but right now I do. 
I was terrified to tell you that I’d failed my exams this year and would have to resit and most likely wouldn’t get back into university. I felt like the world’s biggest disappointment to you. However, you instantly told me everything would be okay, that you’d support me no matter what happened, and that you knew I wouldn’t move home even if I failed. That last part, I could see it hurt you. But you were accepting of the fact that I’m (mostly) ready to enter this world as a responsible adult. You talked me through my options, and you made me feel like there was hope.
So the start of this letter was to talk through the things I can’t say to you out of risk that we’d fall out and not speak again. But I just wanted you to know that I’ll happily keep that locked away inside, forgiven and forgotten, as long as you stay the strong person you always have been. I love you, always have and always will.

Love, your little girl.

xx

Posted in Lifestyle

Monday Morning Musings

Well firstly, I’d like to thank The Tab on Facebook for getting The Vengaboys stuck in my head this early in the morning (it’s 5am by the way, I’m writing this at 5am). Good morning! How was your weekend? I’m alright, thanks, just a bit sleepy. Rachel’s flight is at 7am so she wanted to leave here early enough to give herself time for breakfast at the airport. It was a good weekend but I’m actually now looking forward to getting some serious revision done! Once I wake up again because let’s face it I’m about to go back to sleep. 
As is my normal routine, I looked at my Timehop today and realised that 6 years ago I was writing in slang constantly – no wonder English wasn’t my strong point! My musings of this morning, however, are when did I resort back to actual typing? Yes, I still use some slang when on Facebook messenger or texting, and who doesn’t shorten words to make your tweet the right number of characters on Twitter? Our generation get slated for our addictions to technology and social media. While I can admit that I have a small addiction, it’s not only our generation. My 60 year old Dad spends hours just scrolling through Facebook, unsure if I shared something or just liked it. My 75 year old granny has a better laptop than me and is always on her iPad, checking the weather and, again, browsing Facebook. So when did it become a crime to use the technology given to us? 
I love my phone and my laptop. My life wouldn’t stop without them, but they are now an integral part of my day to day life. It’s why I don’t feel guilty for being away from my blog or Twitter on Saturday. I was with family and enjoying a family day out. Didn’t even have headphones on in the car!
What’s your opinion on the whole technology/social media debate?
Ktkinnes xx

Posted in Lifestyle

50 Questions to Free your mind

So, yesterday on my long train journey back from Edinburgh, I was browsing through blog posts to keep myself occupied. This has just reminded me I need to put music on my new phone before I travel again… I came across Morgan’s (from The Rose Quartz) blog post 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, an honestly answered list of 50 questions to get you thinking. As I read Morgan’s answers, I found myself mentally answering them too and so I decided to answer them here for you all to read! It took a long time, and I strongly considered posting them in batches of 10, but I decided to share them all at the one time. Feel free to read some and then return or whatever suits you! If you’ve any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below!

 

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
    Does this mean how old do I feel or how old would I chose to be? And if it’s choose an age, if I’ve no concept of how old I am how am I meant to pick an age? Or is it just me that answers this question with more questions? If I could choose an age, I’d choose probably to be 12 again. However, today I feel like I could be in my thirties – tired of monotony and ready for a change. Ask me tomorrow and I could be feeling 6 or 7! I can never decide if I’m old or a child.
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
    Personally, I feel failing is worse than never trying. If you don’t try then it doesn’t count as failing, right? However, trying your best and yet being able to fail even after trying your best, at least you know you tried and it isn’t right for you. This is basically the way I’m feeling about my university career. Would I feel better having failed because I didn’t try? Or does knowing that I tried my best but still failed make me feel any better?
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
    I don’t know about you but I do so many things I don’t like because that’s what’s expected of me. Whether it’s family or friends, there’s a lot of pressure to do certain things certain ways and therefore we have very little time left to do the things we actually like doing. Unfortunately, to survive in this world, we need money and to get money we need to work, not necessarily working in something we enjoy.
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
    I’ll probably have said more than I’ve done – I never shut up!

  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
    Only one thing? Then I’d change the world to make everyone more accepting of differences. Once equality is a given in society, people won’t start wars over things like money or religion.

  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
    Either blogging, spending time with friends, playing with the pets, or reading. I love all of these four things and if it was possible to do these for currency (since this blog is a hobby, not for profit) then I’d love to spend all day every day doing this.

  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
    Currently, I’m attempting to do something I believe in – university. If this doesn’t go well, then I’m afraid I’ll have to settle and do something just to make life easier. I hate the thought of settling but there are times in life we have to suck it up and get on with life.

  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
    There is absolutely no way I’d have gone to university. Mightn’t have even sat A-Levels! Why spend 17 years of a 40 year life in education? I’d also have tried harder to be happy during the first 21 years of my life. Apart from that, I’d just live life to the fullest.

  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
    I’ve always had a say in the course my life has taken, but until I moved out for university, it was definitely controlled mostly by my parents. However, they let me choose my secondary school regardless of the distance I would have to travel each day, they always let me explain my reasoning behind decisions and took it into consideration when it was possible, and they tried to be supportive of the choices I made – tried being the main choice of word.

  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
    Doing things right is how I live my life mostly. If I’m doing the right thing at the same time? Well then that’s a win-win!

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  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticising a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
    Having been in this situation, I subtly hinted towards the fact that I was friends with said person. When these hints weren’t picked up, I suggested that we change the topic as I was uncomfortable hearing them talk about a friend of mine in such a way. I pointed out to them that they probably wouldn’t be comfortable if said person heard their thoughts and opinions, and if the conversation were to continue then I would feel it necessary to inform my friend as to these peoples’ opinions.

  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
    Live your life for you, no one else. I only realised this important piece of information in the last few months and, trust me, life gets so much easier when you allow yourself to live only for you.

  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
    Without a doubt. Unless I’m being investigated by the police for allegedly breaking the law to save a loved one – in that case the answer is no, I would never break the law. I’m a perfect, law abiding citizen…

  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
    I don’t really understand this question so apologies but I’m going to ignore this one.
  1. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
    Cutting onions. I’m a strange person and apparently slice onions the wrong way. Is there really a right way though? It all ends up the same way.

  2. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
    See above re ‘I’m a strange person’. Sometimes simple things can make me happy, such as seeing a dog out walking or a baby smiling away in a pram. Days when simple things make me happy are great days.

  3. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
    Anyone who knows me knows that one thing I really really want to do is have children. What’s holding me back? I’m a single, financially insecure, 20 year old who is in no way ready for that responsibility just yet. Maybe some day.

  4. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
    I suppose you could say that I need to let go of the hurt caused to me by the girls I used to call my friends, however I feel like the pain they caused gave me the inspiration to find people who actually like me for me and treat me with the same loyalty and respect I show them. So while I’m not letting it go, if I bumped into any of them on the street I would thank them for teaching me some important life lessons.

  5. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
    Hands down, no questions asked. It’s warm, sunny, and there are people there I class as family. Also, you can sit on a beach at 4 in the morning in a dress and not feel at all cold while looking up at the multitude of stars overhead.

  6. Do you push the lift button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the lift faster?
    It’ll come when it comes. If you’re in that much of a hurry, take the stairs.
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  7. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
    Well since I worry a lot anyway, I’d pick being a worried genius. Plus, who’s to say you can’t be joyful whilst being a worried genius?

 

  1. Why are you, you?
    Partly because this is the way I was brought up to be, partly because this is the way I want to be. I’m not going to continue to blame my faults on other people, but I can say that certain faults weren’t helped by certain people. I’m my own person and no one can change that.

  2. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
    I would like to hope so. If you know anyone who thinks differently, send them my way so I can learn how to be a better friend!

  3. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
    I think it would be worse to lose touch with a good friend who lives right near you. I had one friend in secondary school who made an effort to stay in touch with me, but only when I made an effort to stay in touch with her. She used to live really close to me but now with me practically living in Scotland it made it easier for us to drift apart. Yeah, it hurts, but that’s life. If we were meant to still be friends then we would be. Is that harsh?

  4. What are you most grateful for?
    The people I’ve met here in Glasgow and the friendships I’ve developed. There are 4 people I owe a lot to and they (hopefully) know who they are.

  5. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
    There are some memories I would love to forget. But then, there are some that I’ll hold with me forever. If I kept all my old memories and was never able to make any new ones, I think I’d be happy.

  6. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
    The science student in me says no. A theory is only true as long as you can’t find the exception that disproves it. Don’t accept anything at face value. Take what you’re told or shown and question it in your own way, make up your own mind about what is or isn’t the truth.

  7. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
    My greatest fear is for something to happen to someone or for me to never get the chance to say goodbye to those people who are important to me. My dad’s aunt, my Papa, my granda, my dad’s uncle, a family friend, they all died without me getting to say goodbye or tell them how much I loved them. It hurt the most with dad’s uncle as I had the opportunity to go see him in hospital the day before he died but instead I chose to go into work and he died during the night before I could see him. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.

  8. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
    Unfortunately, yes. But only because it helped shape me into the person I am today. Without that night, I wouldn’t have had the courage to move away from home and meet completely different people. And I certainly wouldn’t have started a blog where I came to share things I should’ve been sharing with my friends.

  9. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
    This is a really tough one as a lot of my childhood memories are all rolled into one. Basically, any of the memories from when I lived in Forfar, Scotland. I was young, naïve, and had no worries – of course I was happiest at that stage.

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    Rachel and Me (year unknown)

  10. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
    Sunday July 31st. It may sound pathetic to you big-time bloggers but I got 59 views on my blog, for simply sharing what was going through my head. I was inspired to continue, impassioned to write as much as I can and share everything I feel is worth sharing. 59 views might not seem like that many, but I felt alive and like someone actually cared about what I had to say.

  11. If not now, then when?
    I’m definitely more of a night-time person than a daytime person.

  12. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
    The illusion that I could achieve it if I tried to. If it hasn’t happened yet, there’s still the possibility that it might and that’s a lot easier to deal with than the possibility of trying to achieve it and failing miserably.

  13. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
    A couple of times. One person from back home had the ability to have that sort of a day with me. Someone I met in Ibiza had that effect (he couldn’t really speak much English and my Spanish is pathetic). A few people here in Glasgow. If you’re feeling down, just spend a day with them or in their company and you’re sure to feel amazing even after just 10 minutes of being with them without conversation.

  14. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
    There’s a fine line between love and hate. Sometimes the love of your religion can cause you to hate the possibility of other religions or ideas. If your religion teaches love, this love isn’t only meant to extend to people of the same religion as you. I was raised in a protestant family, hearing about The Troubles in Northern Ireland and the fact that Christians were fighting Christians over small, insignificant things. I was taught that it doesn’t matter what someone’s religion is, the religion my parents and sister believe in teaches to love everyone equally, even if you feel they don’t deserve your love.

  15. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
    No

  16. If you just won a million pounds, would you quit your job?
    That involves getting a job first to be able to quit it, right? I think I would use the money to help me set up a business/company to help others and then take a back seat, almost like a silent partner in the business. That way I’d have the best of both worlds. Queue for a song anyone?

  17. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy?
    More work that I enjoy. If it’s something I love, I’d happily dedicate all my time and resources to that job.

  18. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
    But I’m trying to change that. Take each day as a new day and treat it as such, who knows where you’ll end up.

  19. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
    I’m not sure to be honest, I rarely act on ideas. I think it’s most likely to be the night I decided to start my blog. Over 2 years ago. Wow, I don’t really do ‘follow your heart’ stuff do I?
    DSC_0005

  20. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
    Referring back to my biggest fear being not getting to say goodbye to people I care about, this would honestly kill me. Do I gather as many of my friends and family in one place to say goodbyes all around? Or do I pick the ones who are most important to me? Can I die in this situation too? That wouldn’t be as bad I think…

  21. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
    Life’s too short and why would you ever want to be famous? And since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, being attractive is subjective.

  22. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
    I’m currently alive. I’m breathing, eating, coping. Truly living is enjoying life to the max. Doing what makes you happy, regardless of what tomorrow may bring. I think most of us are alive rather than living, which in itself is sad. We work in jobs we hate to earn pitiful amounts of money to buy things we neither need or want to impress people we don’t even particularly like. I want to live, not be alive.

  23. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
    Whenever you feel strongly about it. The minute you start considering whether it’s worth the risk, your mind is made up that you want to do it. Don’t let your fear control you.

  24. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
    Because we’re taught that mistakes are wrong and embarrassing. You thought that man you randomly hugged was your dad? Everyone laughs at how silly you were. If you weren’t embarrassed enough at your lack of awareness, you’re suddenly the punchline to a joke. We hate it happening to ourselves and so enjoy when it’s someone else who’s made the mistake. But mistakes are okay, as the question says – we learn from them. Coming to university might have been a mistake for me, however if I hadn’t moved away and tried it then I would never have learnt all the lessons the last 2 years have taught me. Embrace your mistakes and don’t let anyone put you down for making them. At least they were your mistakes and not the mistakes of others that you’re learning second hand!

  25. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
    I think I would’ve come out to my friends and family a lot sooner if nobody was going to judge me. However, when you live in Northern Ireland, which is essentially like travelling back in time by at least 100 years, you learn quickly that if you’re ‘different’ people won’t accept you.

  26. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
    I always notice the sound of my own breathing. I’m a heavy breather. The last time I was properly aware of it though was our last night in Ibiza when I was sharing the bed with 2 other people and trying to pretend to be asleep.


  1. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
    I love blogging and being with friends. Hopefully my new dedication to the blog is proof enough of this, and my willingness to drop everything for my friends should be testament enough to this.

  2. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
    I’d like to think that I’d remember the time I accidentally ended up at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! If not, I always have my blog to look back at, or TImehop will be there to remind me of how embarrassing I am.

  3. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
    As of Monday morning, I made the decision that my decisions are going to be the ones that matter. I’ll accept people’s thoughts or suggestions but I want to start deciding things by myself for myself.

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Ktkinnes xx