So, yesterday on my long train journey back from Edinburgh, I was browsing through blog posts to keep myself occupied. This has just reminded me I need to put music on my new phone before I travel again… I came across Morgan’s (from The Rose Quartz) blog post 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, an honestly answered list of 50 questions to get you thinking. As I read Morgan’s answers, I found myself mentally answering them too and so I decided to answer them here for you all to read! It took a long time, and I strongly considered posting them in batches of 10, but I decided to share them all at the one time. Feel free to read some and then return or whatever suits you! If you’ve any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below!
- How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Does this mean how old do I feel or how old would I chose to be? And if it’s choose an age, if I’ve no concept of how old I am how am I meant to pick an age? Or is it just me that answers this question with more questions? If I could choose an age, I’d choose probably to be 12 again. However, today I feel like I could be in my thirties – tired of monotony and ready for a change. Ask me tomorrow and I could be feeling 6 or 7! I can never decide if I’m old or a child.
- Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Personally, I feel failing is worse than never trying. If you don’t try then it doesn’t count as failing, right? However, trying your best and yet being able to fail even after trying your best, at least you know you tried and it isn’t right for you. This is basically the way I’m feeling about my university career. Would I feel better having failed because I didn’t try? Or does knowing that I tried my best but still failed make me feel any better?
- If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
I don’t know about you but I do so many things I don’t like because that’s what’s expected of me. Whether it’s family or friends, there’s a lot of pressure to do certain things certain ways and therefore we have very little time left to do the things we actually like doing. Unfortunately, to survive in this world, we need money and to get money we need to work, not necessarily working in something we enjoy.
- When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
I’ll probably have said more than I’ve done – I never shut up!
- What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Only one thing? Then I’d change the world to make everyone more accepting of differences. Once equality is a given in society, people won’t start wars over things like money or religion.
- If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Either blogging, spending time with friends, playing with the pets, or reading. I love all of these four things and if it was possible to do these for currency (since this blog is a hobby, not for profit) then I’d love to spend all day every day doing this.
- Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Currently, I’m attempting to do something I believe in – university. If this doesn’t go well, then I’m afraid I’ll have to settle and do something just to make life easier. I hate the thought of settling but there are times in life we have to suck it up and get on with life.
- If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
There is absolutely no way I’d have gone to university. Mightn’t have even sat A-Levels! Why spend 17 years of a 40 year life in education? I’d also have tried harder to be happy during the first 21 years of my life. Apart from that, I’d just live life to the fullest.
- To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I’ve always had a say in the course my life has taken, but until I moved out for university, it was definitely controlled mostly by my parents. However, they let me choose my secondary school regardless of the distance I would have to travel each day, they always let me explain my reasoning behind decisions and took it into consideration when it was possible, and they tried to be supportive of the choices I made – tried being the main choice of word.
- Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing things right is how I live my life mostly. If I’m doing the right thing at the same time? Well then that’s a win-win!
- You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticising a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
Having been in this situation, I subtly hinted towards the fact that I was friends with said person. When these hints weren’t picked up, I suggested that we change the topic as I was uncomfortable hearing them talk about a friend of mine in such a way. I pointed out to them that they probably wouldn’t be comfortable if said person heard their thoughts and opinions, and if the conversation were to continue then I would feel it necessary to inform my friend as to these peoples’ opinions.
- If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Live your life for you, no one else. I only realised this important piece of information in the last few months and, trust me, life gets so much easier when you allow yourself to live only for you.
- Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Without a doubt. Unless I’m being investigated by the police for allegedly breaking the law to save a loved one – in that case the answer is no, I would never break the law. I’m a perfect, law abiding citizen…
- Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I don’t really understand this question so apologies but I’m going to ignore this one.
- What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Cutting onions. I’m a strange person and apparently slice onions the wrong way. Is there really a right way though? It all ends up the same way.
- How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
See above re ‘I’m a strange person’. Sometimes simple things can make me happy, such as seeing a dog out walking or a baby smiling away in a pram. Days when simple things make me happy are great days.
- What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Anyone who knows me knows that one thing I really really want to do is have children. What’s holding me back? I’m a single, financially insecure, 20 year old who is in no way ready for that responsibility just yet. Maybe some day.
- Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
I suppose you could say that I need to let go of the hurt caused to me by the girls I used to call my friends, however I feel like the pain they caused gave me the inspiration to find people who actually like me for me and treat me with the same loyalty and respect I show them. So while I’m not letting it go, if I bumped into any of them on the street I would thank them for teaching me some important life lessons.
- If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Hands down, no questions asked. It’s warm, sunny, and there are people there I class as family. Also, you can sit on a beach at 4 in the morning in a dress and not feel at all cold while looking up at the multitude of stars overhead.
- Do you push the lift button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the lift faster?
It’ll come when it comes. If you’re in that much of a hurry, take the stairs.
- Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Well since I worry a lot anyway, I’d pick being a worried genius. Plus, who’s to say you can’t be joyful whilst being a worried genius?
- Why are you, you?
Partly because this is the way I was brought up to be, partly because this is the way I want to be. I’m not going to continue to blame my faults on other people, but I can say that certain faults weren’t helped by certain people. I’m my own person and no one can change that.
- Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
I would like to hope so. If you know anyone who thinks differently, send them my way so I can learn how to be a better friend!
- Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
I think it would be worse to lose touch with a good friend who lives right near you. I had one friend in secondary school who made an effort to stay in touch with me, but only when I made an effort to stay in touch with her. She used to live really close to me but now with me practically living in Scotland it made it easier for us to drift apart. Yeah, it hurts, but that’s life. If we were meant to still be friends then we would be. Is that harsh?
- What are you most grateful for?
The people I’ve met here in Glasgow and the friendships I’ve developed. There are 4 people I owe a lot to and they (hopefully) know who they are.
- Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
There are some memories I would love to forget. But then, there are some that I’ll hold with me forever. If I kept all my old memories and was never able to make any new ones, I think I’d be happy.
- Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
The science student in me says no. A theory is only true as long as you can’t find the exception that disproves it. Don’t accept anything at face value. Take what you’re told or shown and question it in your own way, make up your own mind about what is or isn’t the truth.
- Has your greatest fear ever come true?
My greatest fear is for something to happen to someone or for me to never get the chance to say goodbye to those people who are important to me. My dad’s aunt, my Papa, my granda, my dad’s uncle, a family friend, they all died without me getting to say goodbye or tell them how much I loved them. It hurt the most with dad’s uncle as I had the opportunity to go see him in hospital the day before he died but instead I chose to go into work and he died during the night before I could see him. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.
- Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Unfortunately, yes. But only because it helped shape me into the person I am today. Without that night, I wouldn’t have had the courage to move away from home and meet completely different people. And I certainly wouldn’t have started a blog where I came to share things I should’ve been sharing with my friends.
- What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
This is a really tough one as a lot of my childhood memories are all rolled into one. Basically, any of the memories from when I lived in Forfar, Scotland. I was young, naïve, and had no worries – of course I was happiest at that stage.
- At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Sunday July 31st. It may sound pathetic to you big-time bloggers but I got 59 views on my blog, for simply sharing what was going through my head. I was inspired to continue, impassioned to write as much as I can and share everything I feel is worth sharing. 59 views might not seem like that many, but I felt alive and like someone actually cared about what I had to say.
- If not now, then when?
I’m definitely more of a night-time person than a daytime person.
- If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
The illusion that I could achieve it if I tried to. If it hasn’t happened yet, there’s still the possibility that it might and that’s a lot easier to deal with than the possibility of trying to achieve it and failing miserably.
- Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
A couple of times. One person from back home had the ability to have that sort of a day with me. Someone I met in Ibiza had that effect (he couldn’t really speak much English and my Spanish is pathetic). A few people here in Glasgow. If you’re feeling down, just spend a day with them or in their company and you’re sure to feel amazing even after just 10 minutes of being with them without conversation.
- Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
There’s a fine line between love and hate. Sometimes the love of your religion can cause you to hate the possibility of other religions or ideas. If your religion teaches love, this love isn’t only meant to extend to people of the same religion as you. I was raised in a protestant family, hearing about The Troubles in Northern Ireland and the fact that Christians were fighting Christians over small, insignificant things. I was taught that it doesn’t matter what someone’s religion is, the religion my parents and sister believe in teaches to love everyone equally, even if you feel they don’t deserve your love.
- Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
- If you just won a million pounds, would you quit your job?
That involves getting a job first to be able to quit it, right? I think I would use the money to help me set up a business/company to help others and then take a back seat, almost like a silent partner in the business. That way I’d have the best of both worlds. Queue for a song anyone?
- Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy?
More work that I enjoy. If it’s something I love, I’d happily dedicate all my time and resources to that job.
- Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
But I’m trying to change that. Take each day as a new day and treat it as such, who knows where you’ll end up.
- When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I’m not sure to be honest, I rarely act on ideas. I think it’s most likely to be the night I decided to start my blog. Over 2 years ago. Wow, I don’t really do ‘follow your heart’ stuff do I?
- If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Referring back to my biggest fear being not getting to say goodbye to people I care about, this would honestly kill me. Do I gather as many of my friends and family in one place to say goodbyes all around? Or do I pick the ones who are most important to me? Can I die in this situation too? That wouldn’t be as bad I think…
- Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Life’s too short and why would you ever want to be famous? And since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, being attractive is subjective.
- What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
I’m currently alive. I’m breathing, eating, coping. Truly living is enjoying life to the max. Doing what makes you happy, regardless of what tomorrow may bring. I think most of us are alive rather than living, which in itself is sad. We work in jobs we hate to earn pitiful amounts of money to buy things we neither need or want to impress people we don’t even particularly like. I want to live, not be alive.
- When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Whenever you feel strongly about it. The minute you start considering whether it’s worth the risk, your mind is made up that you want to do it. Don’t let your fear control you.
- If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because we’re taught that mistakes are wrong and embarrassing. You thought that man you randomly hugged was your dad? Everyone laughs at how silly you were. If you weren’t embarrassed enough at your lack of awareness, you’re suddenly the punchline to a joke. We hate it happening to ourselves and so enjoy when it’s someone else who’s made the mistake. But mistakes are okay, as the question says – we learn from them. Coming to university might have been a mistake for me, however if I hadn’t moved away and tried it then I would never have learnt all the lessons the last 2 years have taught me. Embrace your mistakes and don’t let anyone put you down for making them. At least they were your mistakes and not the mistakes of others that you’re learning second hand!
- What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I think I would’ve come out to my friends and family a lot sooner if nobody was going to judge me. However, when you live in Northern Ireland, which is essentially like travelling back in time by at least 100 years, you learn quickly that if you’re ‘different’ people won’t accept you.
- When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
I always notice the sound of my own breathing. I’m a heavy breather. The last time I was properly aware of it though was our last night in Ibiza when I was sharing the bed with 2 other people and trying to pretend to be asleep.
- What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love blogging and being with friends. Hopefully my new dedication to the blog is proof enough of this, and my willingness to drop everything for my friends should be testament enough to this.
- In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I’d like to think that I’d remember the time I accidentally ended up at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! If not, I always have my blog to look back at, or TImehop will be there to remind me of how embarrassing I am.
- Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
As of Monday morning, I made the decision that my decisions are going to be the ones that matter. I’ll accept people’s thoughts or suggestions but I want to start deciding things by myself for myself.