Honestly, today hasn’t been the productive day I was hoping for. If you’ve been following my blog or Twitter recently, you may have noticed that I have resits coming up. These resits decide whether or not I get to continue university and become a teacher – the one thing I’ve thought about for years. And yet, here I am with absolutely no motivation to revise or be proactive about it. In fact, the only thing I can build up the energy to do today is eat, watch Netflix or blog. None of these are what I’d planned. I came back to the flat last night and the place needs a good clean. Then again, what do you expect when the people living in it are in work during the day and crash into bed the minute they come back? When I saw it last night, my immediate thought was “right, I’ll clean first thing in the morning”. Still hasn’t happened.
I wanted to blast through my notes for Wednesday’s exam so that I can dedicate my time tomorrow to Tuesday’s paper. The notes are in front of me but I can’t get past the first page. Hell I can’t even bring myself to read The Cursed Child which arrived today in the post! What sort of Harry Potter fan am I?
The final, and probably biggest, disappointment is that I want to be healthier. I want to look at chocolate and crisps and takeaway and say “no, I’m not having that” but instead I’ve binged out and already ordered Dominos for 6pm today. Is this just because I’m having a lazy day or is it I’m simply a lazy person?
I think it has to be the latter unfortunately. I’ve always known I lack the get up and go gene that my sister has but I’ve never really accepted it. I’ve found myself today looking around my bedroom in the flat thinking about how to personalise it and make it somewhere I actually want to live. All of this probably isn’t helped by the fact it’s cold and grey outside when all I can think about is the heat and sun of Ibiza, my mind going back to this time last week.
If you have any advice on what to do or how to sort my life out, I’d really appreciate your help. Anything is better than sitting here wallowing in self pity for a situation I’ve got myself into.