Helloooo my lovely friends! Okay so you may be forgiven for forgetting I was participating in the 30 Days of Gratitude Blogging Challenge, especially considering I basically skipped 10 days worth of them… But have no fear! I shall post a brief one for each of these throughout the day – I’m actually going to write them the minute I finish this post.
So, as you can see, today’s theme is Challenges with the subtitle of What is your greatest challenge in life and how do you plan to overcome it? Haha well let’s just put out there that I picked a hard one to come back in on!
Before I could even begin to write this post, I asked myself ‘What constitutes as a challenge?’. The Cambridge Online Dictionary defines it as “(the situation of being faced with) something that needs great mental or physical effort in order to be done successfully and therefore tests a person’s ability.” To me, personally, a challenge is something that prevents you or makes it more difficult for you to achieve the goals you set for yourself. If this is the case, then I had a lot more to think about!
I had to ask myself – what do I consider a challenge in my life? Blogging daily? We all know how well that’s been going – not. Going to university and getting a degree? We’re working on that one, patience young grasshopper. My relationship with my family? Ha, don’t get me started. Wow, there were a lot I could think of! However, I realised that none of these are really a proper challenge – more things that my self-doubt hinders or affects. That’s when it hit me. My greatest challenge, at this point in my life anyway, is my self confidence.
When conversing with the lovely ladies at GRLPOWR, and all the other amazing people involved in their chat on Sunday 18th September based on Confidence, there came a question – ‘How far would you go to gain confidence? (Surgery, buy things, etc)’. While replying truthfully, I stated that I constantly spend money on makeup and clothes to try and look better and more confident. I admitted that I considered either laser skin treatment for my acne scarring or laser hair removal, and I had also looked into laser eye surgery – all in the hope of becoming ‘prettier’ according to societies rules. I heavily rely on the things I buy and how I look to try and get people to like me – as someone once said to me, all I talk about is TV and I’m incredibly boring because of it. Well since then I’ve started talking a lot more about blogging too so I guess I’m just a nightmare to be around.
Woah, sorry, this was meant to be a post about overcoming challenges – not focusing on what the challenge is or how I feel about it! But that last paragraph was to give you a basic insight into my mind. I hate being left out of things, even if it’s nothing important. There’s always a constant worry in the back of my mind that no one likes me and they all just put up with me because I’ve attached myself to them. I know that it’s not true (hopefully) but it’s there and it’s because of my low self confidence.
It’s not something I can just get over. It’s not a quality I like about myself, ha the irony of having low self confidence because of problems caused by low self confidence, but it’s one I can work on. Back in August, I wrote about my promise to myself. I’ve recently started doing things because they make me happy and I want to do them. I’m getting more involved in extracurricular things at uni because, as Nuala said earlier, there are so many opportunities while at uni that disappear the minute we leave this place!
Planning to overcome low self confidence isn’t really effective in my opinion, simply because it takes a lot longer to change a thought or opinion than it does to change or fix a physical problem. Yes, there are ways to physically change to increase self confidence, but why should I have to change to feel better about myself? So yes, we’re working on that.
By the way, I don’t know if any of you have realised but I often refer to myself as ‘we’ – please ignore this, I am a me.
Thanks for reading!