So I was trying to think of something I could do differently on the blog today, and from that I decided to write a letter to me this time next year. It’s different to my This Time Next Year posts, in that I’m not setting goals. I hope you don’t mind it, it really is more of a diary type post.
Well hello, I’m surprised you even remembered to read me. How’re things with you? I’m curious to know how the last year has been, but you know you can’t come back and tell me. That’s cool though, I don’t mind. As long as you’re in a better place now than you were when I’m writing this.
Things haven’t been all that great recently here, but I’m working on that. And hopefully you’re seeing the benefits of all that work now! It’s been a crazy last few months between travel and who knows what else but I just wanted to say I hope you’re happy.
We’ve always aimed to just be happy, but until recently I (you, we, whichever) haven’t really thought what that involved. In fact, you’ve got you-know-who to thank for making you consider that. That night that you stayed up talking until half 4 and he staggered home quite drunk, that night actually helped a lot more than you’ve let on to him. I hope by now you know that it’s okay to be emotional. Because I’ll tell you this for free, I’m crying even thinking about it. Not sad tears though! And that’s one thing we’ve learnt over the last couple of weeks. I’m actually beginning to figure out what’s been going on in our head because he hit the nail on the head when he said it’s okay to not know who you are yet. I don’t think we’ve known who we are for as long as we can remember. Sure you were the smart kid who always managed to pass without that much work, then A Levels hit and you realised that you weren’t all that smart but you didn’t mind that. Your mind was on what would come after your own education.
We’ve always thought about becoming a teacher, and I do hope you’re well on your way to that now! Because even though you aren’t career driven, you do love being around kids and maybe that’s where your heart actually lies. That’s cool, I just wish I knew now where you’ll be when you read this!
But that’s enough of your ramblings – how about a life update? Well we’ve just been to Lanzarote and had a great time with Rachel. Although I’m sure you’ll have re-read that post. The week leading up to that, Nikki was over visiting!
To be honest, things aren’t all that bad, I’m just in a down place. So the aim for over the next year is to actually be happy when you’re reading this. And to know it’s okay if things aren’t going the way we planned them. You’ll get where you want to be eventually, and even if that’s when you’re 40 just know that you still have people who care about you. You’ve people who make an effort to see you. Family who want to know that you’re okay and that is why they phone you so damn frequently, even if you hate them for it you know you actually don’t mind it.
You’re too hard on yourself. You’re meant to be having fun! Yes you’re an adult now but we’re well on our way to our thirties which is scary as hell and for that reason and that reason alone I hope you’re making the most of being 22 and free. Just promise me that you won’t lose contact with the few people who actually make you smile when all you want to do is cry. They’re the ones who actually mean something to you. Not that the others don’t but you have 5 people in your life right now that you don’t want to lose and if I (you, we, whichever) have stopped talking to them next year, in 5 years, 10 years, whatever, then I don’t know if I can forgive us for that. So be good!