So I’m trying a thing this week that I don’t actually plan my posts until I sit down to write them. Just to see if it brings back my missing blogging mojo that disappeared over the weekend.
I’ve been spending more and more time thinking at the minute. And yes, thinking’ great, it’s natural, but what do we do when the thoughts in our head just won’t go away? Take this for example. I’m an overweight, lazy 21 year old who is more than happy to sit watching Netflix all day and night with no consideration for anything at all.
The thoughts come in that maybe I should stop snacking, reduce my portions, exercise more, and remove Mary’s Netflix from my computer. More thoughts come in after that telling me I’m being silly and to just watch the next episode.
Episodes turn into seasons, seasons turn into entire series, and soon I find myself looking for a new series to binge watch. This in turn has me thinking, what did I do and how did I cope when I watched live TV at home? How did I wait a week between episodes? When did a screen suddenly become a replacement for my bedtime reading I used to love so much I went to bed at 8pm just so I could read for three hours before attempting sleep, I say attempting because we all know how brilliant I am at sleeping… she says, writing this post at 3am because she can’t sleep…
Either way, any time I find myself thinking things, it turns into an internalised debate. Worst part is, who wins in an argument between you and you? You’d think it would be a win-win situation, so why does it feel like a losing battle any time these thoughts come into my head?
Truth be told, I can’t actually answer these questions. But I can tell you that listening to both sides of the argument is important. In my example from above, yes I need to be healthier. But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with the occasional binge watching of a show.
I don’t really know where this post is going. In reality, I’m just rambling. I want to post, however I can’t find the inspiration to write something I’m passionate about, and so I find myself spilling my thoughts into the tiny screen of my phone as I blog on the WordPress app. It actually still baffles me that there are people who come on to read my ramblings. Not that you shouldn’t, but it’s just odd knowing there are those of you out there that I may never meet, reading my 3am thoughts as you go about your daily lives.
I’m in a weird place at the minute. Not physically, but mentally. I go from such a high over the simple things in life (like finishing knitting a scarf), to such a low over absolutely nothing (like dropping the toothpaste off my toothbrush). One can make me so happy, bubbly, and ready to take on the world, while the other makes me burst into tears and want to hide away forever.
Do you ever feel like this?